Friday, April 27, 2012

The Stress Test


In 1967, a couple of doctors named Holmes and Rahe developed a stress inventory designed to measure the amount of stress you’ve experienced in the last year—or two (depends on the website you look at). It consists of 43 events one might experience during their life and you simply check off the ones that have applied to you during that time. Each event carries a certain point value (which they called Life Change Units) and then you just add them all up when you’re done. For instance, the death of a spouse is 100 points while a traffic ticket is only 11 points. Marriage falls right in the middle with 50 points; however, it’s unclear whether they meant getting married or simply being married. I think they may lean toward the latter since, oddly enough, reconciling a broken marriage somehow gets you 45 stress points. But before you start thinking that one’s stress would decline to simply allow the relationship to crater, you should be aware that divorce is the second highest ranking stress event on their test earning a whopping 73 points and marital separation is number three at 65 points.

Well, seeing as my life has been extremely “eventful” over the last 18 months, I was curious what my stress level might be. Before I tell you my score, you should know the grading system. Apparently the goal is to score less than 150 points—finally a test you want to score low on. This means you would only have a 35% chance of having a stress-related illness or accident in the next two years. A score between 150 and 300 raises that chance to 50%. Anything over 300 points is bad—it means you have an 80% chance of suffering some sort of stress-related illness/accident including heart attack, stroke or even cancer. So, after taking this test (and leaving out the married part since I’m iffy on what they meant) I scored a through-the-roof stress quotient of 642! 

Now I suppose I should be concerned about scoring so high, but I’m not, and I’ll tell you why. First of all, in my humble opinion, the test is in technical terms…whack! For one, the test is far too generalized to be completely accurate. Not only could the average person probably come up with a variety of things that are currently causing them stress that don’t appear on the list, but the items that are listed lack any kind of range in degrees. For instance, “changing residence” gets you 20 points. Surely the makers of the test realize that not all moves are created equal. I might agree with that score if I were moving from Dallas to Austin. But if I’m moving from Dallas to Boston, I would expect to garner a few extra points. After all, there’s a certain culture change that comes with a move from the south to the east coast. Now suppose you move from Dallas to Southeast Asia. I think that justifies bumping “changing residence” way up the list. In all fairness, I think the test can account for some of the culture stress that accompanies a long-distance move by checking such boxes as “change in living conditions,” “change in recreational habits,” “change in social activities,” and “change in eating habits.” But it just seems to me that a decent test should have some sort of sliding scale that varies from routine to extreme. For example, when you’re talking about an international move, you will probably want to account for things associated with culture shock including learning a new language, adopting new customs, change in driving conditions/rules, inability to communicate, suddenly becoming a minority (racially, economically, and religiously), distance from one’s friends, guilt from family, homesickness, and just an all-around feeling of stupidity that comes along with trying to accomplish such mundane tasks as grocery shopping, buying paint, or getting your Vespa filled with gas. 

I could also argue the vagueness of this test for the event labeled simply “pregnancy,” which will earn you 40 points. Is this for a normal, baby-came-on-time-with-no-complications pregnancy? What if you’ve experienced two pregnancies during this time period—one ending in a miscarriage on Christmas Day and the other as a high-risk pregnancy ending in a child with a birth defect? How many points do I get now? I realize that this is a just generalized test and was never intended to accommodate all scenarios, but if I’m going to accurately gauge my stress level, this test ain’t gonna cut it.

Also, there are certain things that specifically apply to my wife and I that are missing from the test. Oddly, there is absolutely no mention of anything that covers stressors such as fund-raising, visa applications, spiritual warfare, the daily 4am call to prayer, parasites, fungal infections, volcanic eruption, living with 9 teen-aged girls, using “squatty” potties, or the fact that the nearest McDonald’s is a pothole-filled, stomach-churning, two hour drive away. Checking all those boxes would surely make my score much higher! C’mon…just celebrating Christmas or going on vacation gets you a dozen points.

I suppose if a test included all the things my wife and I have dealt with in the last year and a half (many of which we continue to deal with), my score would be well over 1000 points. According to Holmes and Rahe, I should be seeking emergency counseling and taking a monster daily dose of Prozac before I give myself a coronary. Despite that, I feel fine. Sure, I have my bad days. Who doesn’t? And I certainly have my share of “culture” days living in Indonesia. But shouldn’t a proper test also include a variety of positive attributes that help one to cope with life stress such as a laid-back personality; an ability to adapt to change; supportive family; being part of a helpful, empathetic community; a willingness to share one’s struggles; and most importantly, a strong faith in God’s goodness and sovereignty. Surely checking those boxes would help knock that score down to a more manageable and accurate level, right?

So, doctors, I mock your test. Oh, it may have some worth in gauging a general stress level, but the majority of the 43 events are something that individuals have some degree of control over anyway (which alone should be comforting). But better than that, I have God on my side…what shall I fear? How about you? Take the test and see what you think….

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